I open the back door and the icy wind infiltrates every layer of my clothing. I start driving but the car’s heater can’t get warm enough quick enough. A flock of geese slowly waddle towards me on the road, oblivious to the danger they’re in, I slow down and give way, they’re in no hurry. As I arrive at the river a surfer holds his head together with his hands, there’s blood streaming down his face while his mate carries his board, they must have a plan because they are gone before I can offer help. It’s big surf on the other side of the sandbank today. We wade in to cross the river and decide this is the coldest. The pain shoots up our shins. It’s beyond cold, it’s numbing, which in the end might be helpful. It’s a relief climbing up onto the sand out of the river and I breathe normally again on our walk up the beach. I step on a thorn and have to pull hard to get it out and my foot starts bleeding, but I soon realise the pain of getting back into the water will be greater than my sore foot. I inch my way back into the river water, two of us decide to walk back, two are determined to swim. I dog paddle…. for a long way……
The battle begins, although I’m not sure who I’m competing against. It’s absolutely not my swimming partners and I don’t feel like I’m fighting the conditions, but I’m overwhelmed with determination that I’m going to win this one. I’m staying in the water regardless and I’m going to swim my way back to the ramp. My toes and feet are numb, it’s a weird sensation, I know they’re there but I can’t feel them at all. I convince myself that I can do six strokes of freestyle at a time, I breathe every stroke because I can’t keep my face in for longer and then I roll onto my back and kick until I’m ready for another six. It takes a long time, but there’s not a chance that I’m getting out. I want this one. I’m going to defeat it. This is something I have control of, I will have the last word here. I start to feel really warm and wonder if it’s hypothermia but it’s not, I’m now swimming in the water that’s been sitting in the sun on the shallow sandbank, it’s like a little reward for seeing the swim through. I put my feet down on the rocks to try and walk up the boat ramp but I fall over because I still can’t feel my toes, I try again but with no luck. There are people watching so I concentrate hard and keep my balance third time round. There’s going to be dangers that we might be aware of or not, and there’s always a bit of risk and sometimes some blood, but maybe the biggest hazard is the chance of surrendering our own ambitions, giving up our hopes when we’re capable of swimming on.
0 Comments
Your comment will be posted after it is approved.
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorKirrilee Archives
September 2018
Categories |