I’ve got that buzzy feeling, kind of a mix between being on a roller coaster and standing on the edge of a cliff as well as the feeling you get before starting a race. But not the good kind of feeling when you're doing those things. Not the feeling of anticipation that something fun is just about to happen, the very opposite. My hands are shaking, I can feel my heart beating, so I take a few deep breaths.
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I was fortunate enough to speak to Nick Rheinberger on ABC Illawarra this morning before my swim. Click on the link if you'd like to listen.
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1ooclsdHox2eGj-BkZg_8uapdoWc2nF-t/view On the darkest day of the year. It's the lowest of low tides, the greyest of grey skies, the coldest of cold water. The reeds emit the pungent smell of low tide and the colour of the water is black.
I glance up at the tide clock on our wall as I make sandwiches to go in the lunchboxes to go in the school bags. It's almost high tide. On the radio I hear the first snow report for the season, they're expecting a blizzard and 45 - 90cm of snow fall over the weekend in the mountains. I pull my jumper down over my hands to protect my fingers from my cold steering wheel. I start driving and see that one of the herds of dairy cows are in their paddock closest to the road, I notice their companionship. I clench my fists to try and make my purple fingers a bit warmer. The sand under my feet is cold, they warned me about this, the cold sand. The water brings relief as a wave rushes over my feet. It’s warmer in than out. A sea eagle majestically and effortlessly glides and circles overhead, I look up to watch it and as I do I can feel some rain drops on my cheeks.
I lift my pack up onto my knee and then heave it around onto my back, it weighs down on my shoulders but it’s not too heavy. I reach for the waist strap and go to clip it up but it doesn’t reach, I mutter “who’s been wearing my pack”, I loosen it and then loosen it again when I realise it’s me who’s been wearing my pack, ten years and three babies ago. The rain sprinkles on my windscreen but by the time I get to the river it’s sunny. The water temperature is cool but bearable and I tentatively wade over to the beach. The sand is rain beaten and still has the pattern on it from the night before. The sun is bright and I'm hot in my wetsuit so I run into the sea and duck under a wave. The ocean water is much warmer than the river, I'm comfortable. I choose to stay right where the waves are breaking. It's dark when I dive underneath them and a few times I get tumbled by their strength.
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AuthorKirrilee Archives
September 2018
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