I’ve got that buzzy feeling, kind of a mix between being on a roller coaster and standing on the edge of a cliff as well as the feeling you get before starting a race. But not the good kind of feeling when you're doing those things. Not the feeling of anticipation that something fun is just about to happen, the very opposite. My hands are shaking, I can feel my heart beating, so I take a few deep breaths. My phone rings, it’s the call I’ve been waiting for, the reason for my nerves, I’m about to be interviewed on local radio about swimming through winter.
I’m quickly put at ease and enjoy the chat but I’m keen to get in the water and have all of my functions return to normal. It’s beautiful today, the clouds are an impressive display of every shade between white and black, swelling and billowing across the sky. Due to the excitement of the radio interview, we’ve started just a touch later and the tide has already turned. Considering I’d just mentioned that I was going to do a 3.5 kilometre swim today, I thought I’d better get on with it. The others head up the beach and I start swimming up the river. It doesn’t take too long before I get the treadmill feeling as I swim against the tide. There’s no reason to keep struggling. I have nothing to prove. I don’t have to fight it so I choose not to. There are some battles that are just not worth the combat. I peacefully exit the river and find another track through to the beach to join my friends. The water is fresh but not cold as we get back in further up the river, my swim is calming. I’m smiling. I’m content. I’m at ease. The water and I are on the same team now. I swim closer and closer to the river mouth and the warm ocean water seeps around me. It’s soothing. I’ve just managed a six minute interview on the radio, something that in the past I was not capable of doing. I’m happy. I’m proud of myself, not in a vain kind of way, in a ‘I’ve just done something hard’ kind of way, and I’m okay.
2 Comments
Mary McKay
28/6/2018 06:52:40 pm
I enjoyed the interview- and the following blog-reflection. I loved your writing and your reflection. Really loved it!
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Kirrilee
28/6/2018 07:19:31 pm
Thanks so much for taking the time to read it.
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September 2018
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